i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
