So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
