k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
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