we're chasing vodka with high fives
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
