right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
