Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
