I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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