dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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