So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
