I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
