worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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