Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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