I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Everything about him screamed your future.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
