Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
