Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
