I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
