Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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