what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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