I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
