just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
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