Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize