Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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