Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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