Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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