I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
