It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i think i just lost a toe
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
