I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
