i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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