Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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