I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
