Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I love having hate sex.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
my liver is dry heaving
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
