I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
