8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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