I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
