erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
