i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize