apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
