she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
