We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
