Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
