he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
