My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
