I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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