Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
is wine microwaveable?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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