i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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