I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
