She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
