my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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