I cannot find my penis.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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