Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
