is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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