i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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