What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
