he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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