There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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