Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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