What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize