Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
