Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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