are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
