I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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