Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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