she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
