Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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