woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
