if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
